Breakups not only disrupt the romance, but it also damages almost all aspects of your life. Suddenly, you don’t like doing the usual activities you do daily, like exercise or meditation. You don’t enjoy going out with your family or close friends. And one of the most difficult tasks is going to work and focusing on it. Breaking up with someone you love or vice versa is like a stab in the heart, or even feels like the end of someone’s life. It is quite hard to accept the real circumstance that the person you love won’t be by your side anymore and sharing a life with you. Seasoned therapists agree that if you lost a loved one from a bad breakup, it is vital that you undergo all stages of grief to appropriate heal, although this article will emphasize more on the steps you can take to concentrate with your work life.
Take It A Day At A Time. You might think this is so cliché, but it’s certainly true. When you are dealing with a breakup, you need to deal with it like you’re tackling any problem, any issue, or any goal in life. Perform smaller tasks at hand, or break the process into little steps. Don’t think about how you’re going to cope with the heartache over the months to come. Rather, focus on how to overcome your hurt for that day. “Focus on yourself and your own happiness and do not compare yourself to others.” Marc Romano, PsyD said.
While at work, if your boss assigns you a big project at the same time, you’re thinking about the breakup, perhaps you might struggle to get it done. But you can if you just take it one small task at a time. At the end of the day, you’ll feel some relief and joy in your heart because you achieved something despite the ordeal that you’re going through.
Set Your Phone Aside. You know this already, right? You know it’s best to avoid keeping in touch with your ex while you are healing, or else you can’t think right – or you keep coming back to something that’s not going to work after all. Often, you think you can’t resist calling or texting your ex, especially if he is still trying to reach out to you. To prevent this, you have to set your phone aside. If you’re at your workplace, you can turn it off during lunch breaks so you can’t think about communicating with him. If you can’t resist it, then you might as well block his phone number. Don’t drag your love drama into your work. Prevent as much communication as you can so that you can think clearly and be more productive.
Plan Your Daily Emotional Outpourings. Spend an hour or two, figuring out your emotions. During this allotted time, you can cry or write about your feelings, call a friend and pour your emotions to her, or whatever will make you feel like you’ve released something heavy after. You can schedule this ‘disruptions’ on your lunch break or perhaps at a dead hour in the afternoon when everyone’s sleepy and idle. Studies prove that reflecting on breakups periodically can help heal the pain and hasten recovery.
Create A Fresh And Exciting Routine. If we’ve been together with our exes for years, it’s not easy to break from the habits and routines that you’ve been used to doing together. This makes healing more difficult. You may have jogged in the park near your neighborhood with him every after work, or grabbed a snack in this cute little restaurant every time you see a movie. And once he’s gone – and the breakup is sudden – you will feel so lost, and the job of forgetting the relationship becomes very challenging. That is why a licensed clinical psychologist John Mayer, Ph.D. says, “Negative thoughts are just a part of life, but they don’t have to consume you. Instead of trying to ignore those thoughts altogether, try countering them with positive statements.”
Well, here’ s something you need to face: You just have to get over it by losing the habits and breaking the routines. “There are so many ways stress creeps into our lives, yet if we take control of our time and make proactive and healthy decisions, we can stop these negative cycles and truly take care of our mental health,” says Sonja Seglin, LCPC. Create a fresh routine. Find a new place to jog, and look for a place that has new faces so you can make new friends as well. Or better yet, try another hobby, like swimming or biking. Similarly, it would be devastating to see that corner where you and your ex used to sit in that restaurant. So don’t go there! There are plenty of other snack bars to choose from. Go the other way and discover other types of food to try. If you went for Italian before, find something Mexican. Look for the best tacos or burritos in town! It’s time to replace the old miserable routines with fresh and exciting ones.
When you’re struggling to recover from a painful breakup, no doubt it will feel like the world is against you. But though it is difficult to stay focused on your job and think about achieving productivity, these steps should be able to guide and assist you in getting back that control one day at a time.